jessica drake joins us for an International Masturbation Month chat about mutual self-pleasure. In this conversation, jessica unpacks the shame, obstacles, and joy associated with solo and mutual masturbation. Plus, jessica gives tips for: Getting out of your head & into your body Prioritizing our own pleasure Building bedroom confidence Fantasy sharing & dirty talk […]
We know self-care, compassion, and love are important, but do you know HOW to love yourself? Lee Harrington not only talks about why these things are key but also teaches us HOW to do them. Learn self-forgiveness, healthy boundary setting, and becoming become a better friend or partner too through self-courtship and deepening your connection with yourself. Kinky folks can use these tools in their self-collaring journey too.
How do you live your authentic kink life when your needs don’t match up with the BDSM community status quo? In part 1 Mollena Williams-Haas told us how returning to the leather community after parting ways sparked an unexpected journey of healing and growth. In this discussion, Mollena shares practical advice for digging past the […]
Mollena Williams-Haas, a.k.a. The Kink Doula, is back to serve up a slice of community healing. As a BDSM Leather community veteran and legend, Mollena understands the challenges of living your truth when it falls outside of the alt-sex status quo. In this convo, she shares how her rocky relationship with a community she once […]
Mike Stabile, who appeared in Netflix’s Moneyshot: The Pornhub Story joins us to talk about important details that didn’t make it into the documentary. Some of what we discuss: The aftermath of the 2020 New York Times article that shook up the adult industry How the far-reaching consequences affect us all Who’s behind the Traffickinghub […]
Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons joins us for a conversation about the ways racial inequity hurts the sex lives of BIPOC folks. Although many view sex as an escape from the stresses of real-world issues and a common experience we all share — it’s not that simple. Orgasms are not the great equalizer. Political, cultural, and […]
Veronika Kestrel joins us for a conversation about creating safe & inclusive kink spaces for everyone across the gender spectrum. Despite the BDSM subculture’s roots in the queer community & emphasis on inclusivity, many communities remain steeped in heteronormativity, leading to the fetishization and othering of gender non-conforming and trans people. Some of what we […]
Adult grooming is often misunderstood — from what it looks like, to who is most vulnerable, what types of people groom, and why — most assume it can’t happen to them. The fact is, grooming comes in many forms and can happen in any type of relationship – including BDSM dynamics. And because kink often […]
Midori joins us to discuss Japanese BDSM & why recognizing fundamental differences in various cultures around the world is the key to understanding the how & why behind kink. We talk about differences in consent & safety, how differing social norms & hierarchies influence our collective play styles, and how these insights can enhance our […]
Fact: The BDSM world has a race problem. Queer, Black, kink educator, Phrygian Monk joins us to talk about it. This conversation stemmed from one of their no-nuance November observations: “Kinktok is heavily segregated and pretty racist – like 1950s level.” They bring all the nuance and then some. We discuss why it’s essential for […]
Having difficult conversations with one partner is hard enough. When consensual non-monogamy is part of the equation it can feel overwhelming. In this episode, therapist Kate Loree gives insight and actionable strategies for working through uncomfortable emotions like insecurity, feeling disempowered, and jealousy in polyamory/CNM. She also provides valuable tips on identifying & managing triggers […]
Asexuality and kink?! Isn’t that a contradiction?! Nope! Asexual BDSM is quite common. In fact, a significant segment of the kink subculture is on the ‘ace’ spectrum. On ep 195, Evie Lupine joins to talk about it. A few of the things we discuss: Asexuality vs. Responsive Desire & how to tell the difference How […]
In episode 194 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron continues her deep dive into the murky, messy, nuances of kink. She examines some of the most popular kink “rules” pertaining to consent & safewords and the grey areas that cause community friction: “Never renegotiate during a scene” “Expect your partner to use a safeword if […]
Safe words aren’t as complicated as we make them out to be. They aren’t necessarily as simple as we think either. In kink & sex, safe words are simple communication tools that stop the action & trigger a predetermined protocol. What they mean, how they’re used & what you do after is up to you. […]
The BDSM Test is infamous. We post results on FetLife & use it as a roadmap, educational tool + kink negotiation starter. It’s even gone vanilla as the focus of social media challenges & pop magazine writeups. But is it all its cracked up to be? Many say it’s othering, stigmatizing & normalizes red-flags. Midori & therapist Joe Zarate-Sanderlin deconstruct this test question by question + explore its wider impact. Why don’t we scrutinize it the same way vet other educational sources? Who wrote it, why, and what are they using the data they’re collecting about our kink for? Turns out, it’s a bit of a mystery…
Kink & BDSM stigma is alive and well–in the mainstream, in our own communities, and even in professional and academic spheres. In episode 191 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron busts some of the most common myths and provides clinical & academic resources for therapists, academics, and skeptical naysayers. She deconstructs the following kink & […]
Many of us go through periods in our lives when we’re not happy with the amount of sex we do or don’t want. In Ep 190 of American Sex Podcast, Cyndi Darnell gives tips for changing our relationship to pleasure and navigating intimacy when one partner is perpetually ‘not in the mood.’ Some of the […]
Kink isn’t a replacement for therapy, but it can be therapeutic. On Ep 189 Andrea Glik, LMSW explains the impact of trauma on our nervous system, depression as a survival response, the stress response cycle, the difference between glimmers and triggers, how BDSM can be used to heal trauma for both doms and subs, how […]
Being a part of community isn’t required to practice BDSM, although it may seem like it due to visibility. What is important is knowing the positive and negative ways community influences the kink subculture. Yes, mainstream myths and stereotypes contribute to BDSM stigma, however, misleading info from the community causes harm too. On ep 188 […]
All relationships are susceptible to hurdles & conflict–resentment, attachment injuries, navigating mental health, unhealthy coping strategies, overcoming societal conditioning, trauma, and more. It’s hard enough between 2 people; in polyamory, we have multiple partners to factor in plus unique issues like jealousy and couple’s privilege. On episode 187 of American Sex Podcast, Kate Loree draws […]
The kink community has a reputation for being accepting & inclusive. When it comes to race, however, we have some work to do. Recent research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found at BDSM events people of color were 16x more likely to feel discriminated against & 17x more likely to feel fetishized than […]
The legal definition of consent in BDSM is changing & all kinksters NEED to know about this! Currently, U.S. law interprets consensual kink activities as criminal acts making prosecuting sexual assault cases in BDSM difficult. How do you prove non-consensual sex occurred if kink isn’t considered sex in the eyes of the law, it’s assault? The NCSF established a legal definition of consent in kink: The New Model Penal Code on Sexual Assault: Affirmative Defense of Explicit Prior Permission for use of force and restraint with sexual contact developed with the American Law Institute. Susan Wright & BebeBlueEyes explain how this gives legal power to sexual assault survivors, how it’ll be adopted state-by-state, about the new consent model EPP/Explicit Prior Permission & why implementing it as community standard is key to changing case law, what you can do to help, how the NCSF can assist you with criminal sexual assault cases involving consensual kink, and more.
Why do masochists like suffering? What happens to the body & mind during the altered states of consciousness subspace & topspace? How do people use kink to be more grounded, regulate the nervous system, explore intense emotional states with minimal risk, and more? There’s a lot more to BDSM than ropes, paddles, and floggers! On ep 184 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron & therapist, Kate Loree explore the psychology & strategy behind custom building BDSM experiences.
On Ep 183 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Sinclair Sexsmith about dominance & submission. While most are aware that Dom/sub play is common in kink, we also have a very narrow view of what it entails. D/s isn’t always cruel & authoritarian. We talk about the many ways people engage in D/s & […]
What does the Joe Rogan/Spotify controversy have to do with the freaky things you do in the bedroom? Surprisingly, A LOT! This situation uncovered bigger issues regarding corporate control of information & influence over censorship. In 2022 posting about sexual health, LGBTQIA+ activism, or thirst traps online is risky due to SESTA FOSTA, bank restrictions, […]
On episode 181 American Sex Podcast we have the convo you WISH you could have with your doctor… if they were sex & kink-positive, didn’t shame or judge, told jokes that made you snort-laugh, and had all the time in the world to answer every one of your questions about sex & genitals. Urologist Dr. […]
On episode 180 of American Sex Podcast, Host & Kink Educator Sunny Megatron Is back for a second installment of free-style BDSM education. She gives helpful tips and busts myths that are commonly spread within the kink community. Topics discussed: Important similarities & differences between the terms BDSM, kink, D/s, fetish, SM Is kink a […]
This week we talk with Andrew Gurza & Heather Morrison, the brother-sister team behind the first line of sex toys for people with disabilities, Bump’n. The idea started a few years ago with a chance conversation about Andrew’s increasing difficulty with self-pleasure due to Cerebral Palsy. Last week, the company they founded launched their first […]
It’s sex toy season! Between all the holiday discounts hitting our inbox and impending supply shortages, many of us are making snap decisions to buy new gear. With more sex toys available than ever before and new technology available, wading through this sea of options can be overwhelming. This week Sunny spills all her tips […]
Why are so many people into deep anal insertion? One theory is because it can stimulate the vagus nerve. Not only can this feel amazing, but it may also trigger a cascade of health benefits! Ruby Ryder of Pegging Paradise fame joins us to talk about advanced butt stuff & pegging on ep 177 of […]
Veronika Kestrel joins us for ep 176 of American Sex Podcast to talk about one of her favorite kinks, Dollification. Dollification is doll roleplay–sounds basic on the surface but dollification is one of the most versatile and customizable kinks adaptable to both sensual and extreme play. Some of what we touch on in this conversation: […]
On episode 174 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Codi Vore and Queen Ava about sex worker mutual aid and the organization they helped co-found, SWAID Las Vegas. Some of what we cover: How mutual aid differs from traditional non-profits & how this strategy eliminates exploitation and inequity common in mainstream charity Why mutual […]
On episode 174 of American Sex Podcast Sunny has a conversation with Amp Somers from the Watts Your Safeword Podcast about erotic humiliation and psychological edge play. Some of what we cover: Neurodivergence & psychological kink The trauma love languages can be used for aftercare & trigger plans Negotiation considerations for humiliation play Using kink […]
Jamila M. Dawson, LMFT & August McLaughlin join us for episode 173 of American Sex Podcast to talk about sex, kink and trauma. The pair recently wrote a book on the subject called, With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. If you’re a human you likely have trauma and whether you realize it or not, it can affect your connection to pleasure. Some of what we cover in this conversation: What trauma is/isn’t, If “fuck” is a trauma response like fight/flight/freeze/fawn, Trauma & the mind/body connection, Why some people find BDSM therapeutic, The difference between subspace & dissociation, Being trauma-aware in sex-positive communities, Neurodivergence, trauma & sex. As heavy as the subject seems, per our usual, we approach the subject with lightheartedness and lots of laughs! Life is too short to be serious all the time 😉
On episode 172 of American Sex Podcast, Host & Kink Educator Sunny Megatron free-styles BDSM education, gives helpful tips, and busts myths that are commonly spread within the kink community. Topics discussed: Benign masochism & the neuroscience of BDSM Myths about sadomasochism and the notion that pain = pleasure Examining the WHY behind our attraction […]
Want to be a sex or BDSM educator? Or become a better one? Maybe you’re a student wondering how to better vet the instructors you learn from? Stefanos and Shay join us for ep 171 of American Sex Podcast to talk about pleasure education. During the pandemic, the mainstreaming of virtual classes caused demand for […]
Why are dark, disgusting fantasies that are in direct opposition to our moral beliefs some of our biggest turn-ons? How can what’s ‘so wrong’ be ‘so RIGHT’? Mollena Lee Williams-Haas tells us what’s behind this on episode 170 of American Sex Podcast. If your porn search history is twisted, you’re not alone. Taboo kinks are […]
Jaki Griot gives us the real talk on femme dominants on ep 169 of American Sex Podcast. In the kink world, they’re often disrespected, devalued, and held to higher standards than their masculine counterparts. Femme doms of color, even more so. This undercurrent is present in lifestyle play, sex work, and community leadership. Jaki talks […]
Polly Superstar is a sex culture revolutionary and she’s also our guest on episode 168 of American Sex Podcast. Over the last 14 years her legendary event, Kinky Salon, has spread to 16 cities around the world. Some describe it as a sex party but it’s actually so much more—theatrics, erotic exploration, an opportunity to […]
Daddy play is hitting the mainstream and Luna Matatas joins us on episode 167 of American Sex Podcast to talk about the many flavors of this role-play. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to engage in age play to enjoy the daddy archetype. It’s not always a DDLG dynamic, although it can be. Luna explains why we find this kink so hot, the different types of daddy archetypes we can portray, why daddy play isn’t gender-dependent, the surging popularity of FemDaddies & gender non-conforming daddies, how it differs from mommy play, why not all daddies are dominant, the cultural and psychological origins of this kind of play, and more.
Last month, news of OnlyFans explicit content ban rocked the world. What was behind it? Were they sanitizing the platform to court new investors? Was their grand plan to exploit adult creators to grow the site only kick them to the curb once it gained mainstream appeal? Were payment processors pressuring them? And how were they able to reverse their decision so quickly? In episode 166 of American Sex Podcast, Kitty Stryker explains the complex and deep-rooted reasons for this unexpected series of events. It has ties to the censorship in media movement that goes back decades, religious groups with hidden agendas, shady anti-trafficking organizations, and more. She warns that even though Only Fans ban was suspended, there may be more to come that will affect every corner of the internet.
Kink trailblazer Midori joins us for episode 165. Now at the helm of the first Kink Informed Professionals Certification of its kind, Midori recently partnered with the Sexual Health Alliance to bridge the gap between BDSM and mental health/care professions. Once pathologized, kink has recently become a serious area of professional interest and study. In this conversation, Midori tells us how myths from popular culture and those perpetrated by the BDSM community itself have contributed to bias in care professions. We pinpoint why the mental health field is beginning to see BDSM as a healthy outlet for creativity, resilience, and valid erotic expression. We also touch on the ways abuse hides within kink and how stigma around that affects our relationships with therapists, doctors, social workers, attorneys, and other care professionals we come into contact with.
Ep 164 of American Sex Podcast is SHOCKING! Sunny talks electric play with Emma & Cass from the Honeydew Me Podcast. If you think e-stim is all about pain, think again! Electrosex devices are incredibly versatile. With just a simple setting adjustment you can go from a hardcore BDSM scene to gentle, sensual, hands-free orgasms! In this conversation, we start with the basics of TENS units and violet wands and pace up the action step-by-step so you can zero in on what suits you. You’ll learn safety information, about body piercings & electric play, how-tos, accessories you can find around the house, party games, and more. There’s something in this episode for every type of player from vanilla to extreme.
Ep 163 of American Sex podcast is jampacked with so many practical tips and insights for new & experienced kinksters alike! When Erik got into kink less than a year ago, he didn’t realize how profoundly it would change his life both inside and outside the bedroom. Joined by his partner & mentor Catie, Erik walks us through his transformative journey of self-discovery. We discuss strategies for negotiating your first scene when you don’t know how kink tools feel or what experiencing a scene is like. Erik tells us about his unexpected feeling of mourning and how to handle expectations that don’t match up with reality, how Erik & Catie dealt with the common phenomenon known as frenzy, navigating kink with ADHD, and how it can help align your body and mind. We also get into switching and the similarities and differences between subspace, domspace, and their respective drops. This is a must-listen for those curious about or into kink.
Kinky religious play is the ultimate taboo. But why is it so popular? Go on to any porn site and you’ll find countless sexy latex-wearing nuns or roleplays that start with “forgive me, father, for I have sinned” and feature the naughty penance that follows. On ep 162 of American Sex Podcast Danarama and Arielle Aquinas explore why this kind of play is so popular, how you can engage in it without sacrilege, and why the trauma it brings up for some can be healing. Dan & Arielle give us scene ideas too including how we can pervert the sacraments plus real-life and specialty items we can use in play. Whether you’re a non-believer, a recovering catholic, or curious about exploring your faith through sexuality without engaging in blasphemy– there’s lots in this conversation you’re going to love!
On Ep 161 of American Sex Podcast, Justine Cross helps us navigate our emotions around getting back to dating, traveling, and attending sex parties in a post(ish)-COVID world. Although many of us are vaccinated and the CDC has relaxed social distancing guidelines, we’re having unexpected mixed feelings about integrating back into our real-life sex-positive communities. Introverts that thrived online are anxious about their newfound virtual communities disappearing. Visually stunning live online performance has become its own art form that we just can’t duplicate in a real-life setting. Which in-person events do we go to? When? How do we throw our own vaccinated-only gatherings? Justine gives us the pep talk we all need plus lays out practical tips for event planning & navigating post-quarantine uncertainty.
You’re invited to our puppy pile! On ep 160 of American Sex Podcast, Amp Somers from Watts the Safeword joins us to talk puppy play. This episode is your ultimate pup resource! Find out exactly why so many people enjoy this role-play plus learn what kind of gear you need, how to join community & who’s welcome, how consent works when your words are barks, dynamics between pup and handler, switching as a puppy, similarities in role-playing other animals and primal kink, public play and when it crosses the line, various pup roles, how solo & non-community puppy play works, and more. We even talk about a recent puppy play scientific research study.
This episode is so jam-packed with helpful info you won’t want to PAWS it! We leave no bone unturned! *groan*
Have an idea for a new sex toy design but no clue how to actually produce it? Let this conversation with Glenise Kinard-Moore be your inspiration! A couple of years ago Glenise was an average person with an off-the-cuff idea and today she’s the founder of the lifestyle tech startup, SkiiMoo. Her flagship product, VDOM, isn’t only a pleasure tool, it’s also a groundbreaking gender-affirming prosthetic made for the LGBTQ+ community. Glenise walks us through the process of starting with zero background in the pleasure business and what she did every step of the way. She also talks about disrupting the status quo as a queer Black woman entering an industry that isn’t always as inclusive as it appears.
Did you know the average person has 13 secrets? On episode 156 of American Sex Podcast, Therapist Kate Loree joins us to examine the role secrets play in our lives. Find out: When are secrets good? When are they bad? How can we tell the difference? What does keeping secrets do to our relationships? Our […]
On ep 153 of American Sex Podcast, Kevin Patterson & Dr. Liz Powell talk about the complexities of both finding a therapist knowledgeable about non-normative lifestyles/identities and becoming a therapist who is. Learn why non-monogamous people shy away from therapy, questions to ask practitioners when searching, and how to handle a judgmental or uneducated health […]
Episode 152 of American Sex Podcast is jampacked with tips for fantastic fellatio! In our conversation with Carly S we start with the psychology of BJs– does viewing it as a dominant or submissive act affect our enjoyment and technique? Also learn important penis anatomy, which lube is best, what to do with the balls, […]
If you think the latest round of internet censorship doesn’t affect you, think again. Social media TOS changes, Visa/MasterCard halting services on Pornhub, and Section 230 being wrapped up in our COVID relief bills affect not only sex censorship but everyone who uses the internet. What happens when sexual assault survivors can’t easily search for […]
Rope bondage can be visually stunning. But many of us leave erotic human macrame to the experts because the prospect of doing it ourselves is so intimidating. Do we need specialty rope, impeccable technique, and the confidence to go with it all? No according to Midori! On Ep 150 of American Sex Podcast Midori guides us through rope bondage for beginners with items we all have at home. Learn about safety, get inspiration for scene ideas, and how to have fun with long-distance bondage play. Midori also discusses the cultural origins of Shibari. Is it an honorable ancient Japanese practice like many of the rope enthusiasts claim? Or is there some cultural misappropriation at play? The answer may surprise you.
Butt play is for everyone. It doesn’t have a gender or orientation. So many folks are curious but don’t know where to get safe information. Who better to ask than a gay GI doctor who not only knows the medical side of things but is no stranger to butt stuff himself?! On ep 149 of American Sex Podcast, Dr. Carlton tells us everything we need to know about the back door. We discuss enemas, considerations for hemorrhoids and fissures, how to stretch safely, how much is too much, prostate stimulation, anal orgasms for people with vulvas, lubes, fisting, must-know tips for tops and bottoms, and more. Also learn why it’s important to tell your doctor about the kind of sex you have and what to do if they shame you.
Whether it’s for long-distance play during quarantine or to replace lost income using sites like Only Fans, more people than ever are using the internet for sex. Many are shocked when their accounts are shut down after using Zoom for a date, storing thirst trap content on Google Drive, or posting PG-13 content on mainstream social media. Why does this happen? In this conversation, Sunny Megatron details the modern history of sexual censorship in the U.S. starting with Miller vs. California in 1973 diving down the rabbit hole of historical events leading us to where we are now. If you’ve ever wondered why Instagram, TikTok or adult sites have the odd rules they do about adult content, the answer is in this episode– and it might surprise you.
On episode 147 we talk with Bekah Rose about abuse in the kink community and in kink relationships. How do we most effectively deal with habitual abusers in our spaces? Is it always possible to make room for people that abuse to change and heal? What are the most common types of abuse we see […]
In the kink world a mindf*ck involves ethically using mental manipulation to bend a bottom’s reality. Whether it’s the subtle twisting of details to enhance a sensory experience or an elaborate rouse akin to an erotic practical joke, minf*cks can greatly enhance kink & role play. On ep 146 Sir Ezra deconstructs this psychological tool. […]
The most popular place to learn about kink is the internet. Social media platforms have become a wealth of BDSM information for newbies and beginners alike. While websites and pop culture have made kink more acceptable and accessible, they are also allowing potentially dangerous misinformation to spread like wildfire. On ep 145 Safiya Darling talks about the plusses and pitfalls of learning about kink in the digital age. We discuss edgeplay activities like knife play & erotic choking, how to properly vet partners and educators, ways to be sure you’re getting a well-rounded kink education & more.
Age players are not only often misunderstood by those in the vanilla world but even by the kink community. On ep 144 Mako Allen sets the record straight. Age play often involves tapping into a particular state of mind and vulnerability and he explains why this is so appealing. We discuss if and how age play might be tied to rewriting childhood trauma, the existence of dominant littles, what benefits those playing the role of a big enjoy, and diaper play, plus Mako tells us about his personal journey rejecting exploring the role of a little due to fear and stigma. We also learn about the new app Mako created to help those in M/s and D/s dynamic manage punishments and rewards.
What does it mean to be a switch in BDSM? This week Queen Ana Algos brings us into the world of switching. We talk about switch erasure–some people think switches don’t exist, they’re just confused doms and subs that haven’t picked a side yet, or that they aren’t really good at topping or bottoming because […]
After more than six months our COVID situation isn’t getting better. While we may have started this journey as isolation superstars, the need for human contact is growing stronger. Sarah Sloane joins us to talk about how we can date in kinky, polyamorous, and vanilla situations. How do we safely meet new people? How do […]
The way we perceive the world physically and mentally has profound effects on our sexuality. Sadly, this is something we rarely talk about. On episode 141 of American Sex Podcast, Catie Osborn discusses ADHD, sex, and BDSM. We cover adult diagnosis, how hormonal changes and menstrual cycle affect ADHD, why kink is appealing to neurodiverse […]
On episode 136 of American Sex Podcast, we talk about the intersection of race and kink with Luna Matatas and Marla Renee Stewart. Learn how casual and not so casual racism shows up in structural, cultural, and interpersonal contexts in the BDSM scene; if and when the labels Master/slave are appropriate; and if race play […]
We’re giving away 20 premium sex toys from Fun Factory, nJoy, Blush Novelties, We-Vibe & Womanizer from now until Februry 5th, 2020. In fact, over the next month we’re giving away a total of TWENTY toys with a total retail value of over $2,300!
On ep 110 Mistress Justine Cross sorts out BDSM myths and facts. We begin by dissecting negative stereotypes the media feeds us about kink and sex work plus learn the reasons why we’ll likely never see accurate representations in pop culture. Justine tells us about her clients, not only the ones that seek typical BDSM […]
