As a Clinical Sexologist & BDSM Educator, I hear LOTS of misconceptions about consensual humiliation. Some of the most common:
❌ Humiliation Myth 1: Sexual humiliation must always be extreme & cruel because the goal is to make the recipient feel horrible about themselves & emotionally broken.
❌ Humiliation Myth 2: Everyone experiences humiliation the same way & from the same things; therefore, engaging in degradation kink is straightforward & doesn’t require much negotiation.
❌ Humiliation Myth 3: If it’s lighthearted, playful, or humorous in a way that’s NOT at the recipient’s expense, then it’s NOT humiliation kink.
❌ Humiliation Myth 4: Consensual humiliation & degradation is only for hard-core kinksters. Vanilla people don’t engage in this kind of exchange during intimate play.
❌ Humiliation Myth 5: Emotionally heavy, hard-core degradation is inherently unhealthy. Anyone who is turned on by this or does it as a consensual kink has unresolved issues. They all need therapy, not BDSM.
Let me be clear: NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!
Also, HELL NO. There’s lotsa nuance to unpack here.
The Truth about Humiliation Kink
Emotionally heavy consensual humiliation can be a perfectly valid way to play for some people. It can also be approached in intentional ways that are mentally healthy for some people. This flavor of play isn’t for everyone though, and that’s perfectly valid as well.
The problem is we don’t often hear about the many other flavors of consensual and intentional erotic humiliation like lighthearted, playful, silly, or even humorous (that’s not at the recipient’s expense).
Myths around humiliation always being extreme and unpleasant give a very one-dimensional view of this multi-dimensional playstyle. They make us wonder, “Why are people into erotic humiliation? Who would WANT to feel bad and cry? What’s WRONG with them?! Nope, degradation is NOT for me!” These misconceptions and the negative associations they trigger are also reasons we avoid even discussing erotic humiliation with our partners.
But here’s the rub — lots of us (even vanilla folks) regularly weave subtle humiliation kink themes into our intimate play without even realizing it … or discussing it 😬 Uh oh…
The Spectrum of Humiliation
In my virtual humiliation workshop with Bloom Community App, we’ll explore the spectrum of erotic humiliation from embarrassment to degradation with the goal of helping you figure out which flavors you enjoy. If you find erotic humiliation hot sometimes but other times not so much, you’ll get tools, language, and frameworks to pinpoint exactly what kind turns you on and why.
Specifically, you’ll learn to:
- Negotiate consensual humiliation in your scenes & dynamics
- Gauge intensity levels ranging from playful embarrassment to intense degradation
- Keep the focus on emotional safety
- Build humiliation scenes with positive outcomes in mind
- Prepare for unintended missteps & triggers
- Inject humor into your emotional play & more
- You’ll also receive humiliation-specific & general kink negotiation tools you can use with partners or for self-discovery
This Humiliation Kink Workshop is Thursday, August 10th, 2003. If you can’t attend live, you’ll get a replay link.
HERE is the RSVP page with all of the details.
Also, because knowing what to expect can be important — while there’ll be opportunities to engage & ask questions, it’s optional! You can turn your camera on, communicate w/audio-only, stick to just text chat, or remain completely incognito. Interact (or not!) at your comfort level 🤗
See you there!
p.s. What other myths about humiliation and degradation kink have you heard? 🤔 There’s PLENTY! You can pop on over to Instagram to join the discussion too.