The word “manipulation” has a very negative connotation. But is all manipulation abusive? Does it always have the potential to undermine consent? On ep 158 of American Sex Podcast Kitty Stryker joins us to analyze how manipulation shows up in sex, relationships, and kink. It turns out we manipulate a lot more than we realize and sometimes it can be for noble intentions. But what differentiates positive manipulation from abuse? We discuss what manipulation red flags to look for when vetting potential partners, how to manipulate ethically in BDSM scenes, how to negotiate manipulation in play, how to recognize when it’s being used as an abusive tactic, how it relates to brat play, and more.

Kitty Stryker Bio

Kitty Stryker has been working on defining and creating consent culture for over 10 years through her writing, workshops, and website She’s the editor of “Ask: Building Consent Culture”, and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom into everyday life. Kitty also enjoys working as a street medic for direct actions, playing Dungeons and Dragons, and caring for her two cats. She identifies as queer, asexual, sober, anarchist and femme. 


p.s. Please subscribe to American Sex & rate us on Apple Podcasts/iTunes. And if you really dig us, consider becoming a member of our Patreon family. All Patreon members get our episodes early and access to our exclusive feed. You also get episodes made exclusively for Patreon members, podcast stickers, surprises in the mail, a personal video greeting & more for as little as $3 a month. Thanks!

Episode 158 Links 

Episode 158 Sponsor, Affiliate & Giveaway Info