Do you consider yourself among the kink-curious? Are you someone who’s interested in trying something a little kinky, but aren’t quite sure where to begin? Does the thought of BDSM get your juices flowing but at the same time is a bit intimidating? Pairing sensory deprivation with sensation play is a great entry point into the world of kink. Manipulating the senses allows you to gently dip your toes into the BDSM waters instead of diving head first into the deep end of the pool.
What is Sensory Deprivation?
Sensory deprivation is commonly used in BDSM and appeals to beginners as well as experienced players. Put simply, sensory deprivation is the act of removing one or more of the senses so the others become magnified or distorted.
Blindfolds are one of the most common sensory deprivation tools. When our sight is taken away, we’re forced to rely on touch, smell, hearing, and taste. Cover the eyes and suddenly every sound becomes more seductive (or sinister depending on the mood you’re trying to set). Each touch feels more electric, tastes are more decadent, and our sense of smell becomes more keen.
While using a blindfold alone will kick your kink game up a notch, it can be even more impactful when layered with other things. You may wish to remove additional senses to erotically disorient your lover. Add a pair of headphones playing sexy music to your blindfold set-up to make touch, smell, and taste larger than life.
What About Sensation Play?
Technically every type of bodily touch elicits some sort of sensation– even very painful things. Sensation play in BDSM, however, is usually reserved for gentler, more stereotypically pleasant activities. It’s often referred to as “light BDSM” or “sensual kink”. Sensation play is most effective when it involves opposing types of touch in succession. For instance, rough followed by soft, fast and slow, hot and cold, firm and gentle. This type of thoughtfully applied stimulation gets our endorphins and adrenaline flowing.
One of the most versatile sensation tools are the hands. They can firmly massage or tickle with lightly stroking fingers. Light slaps and pinches are also an option for those that enjoy low-level erotic pain. Put a rough mitten or soft, clean polishing mitt on each hand and rub those opposing sensations over your partner’s body in quick succession. Add lotion or oils to your bare hands to make them even more versatile tools. Leaning in close, slowly release warm breath on your partner’s oily skin. Blowing a firm stream of air will elicit a cool sensation on damp skin.
You can take the temperature play further with alternating things like ice cubes, cold or frozen grapes, warm washcloths, and heating pads. Some sex toys like glass or metal dildos can be cooled down in the freezer or heated up in a warm bowl of water. The Njoy Pure Wand is one of my favorite sex toys that is easily repurposed as a temperature play tool.
Consider Items Made Specifically for Sensation Play (or make your own!)
Most BDSM retailers offer basic beginners BDSM kits. They contain things like nipple clamps, wrist restraints, a blindfold, a sensual tickle feather, and perhaps a Wartenberg pinwheel (the hyperlinks on those items lead to my instructional youtube videos for each toy– go watch them!). While it’s convenient to be able to purchase every you need for a fun night of experimentation in one package, some kits can be pricey. And why buy all of those things if you’re not even sure you’ll like them? That’s where pervertables come in handy.
What are Pervertables?
Pervertables are household items repurposed for kinky uses. An example would be using the flat end of a hairbrush or wooden spoon as a spanking paddle. A kinky beginners kit made from pervertables might look like this: wooden clothes pins instead of nipple/labia clamps, silk scarves or ties in place of wrist restraints and a blindfold, a brand new feather duster from the dollar store as a soft tickler, and a pastry wheel or metal fork as a makeshift Wartenberg pinwheel.
Before introducing kink into your sex play always talk with your partner first. You’ll want to have a discussion about what types of things you both consent to, what your limits are, and it’s a good idea to establish a safeword. Filling out a yes/no/maybe list together can help break the ice and give you a starting point for your discussion.
To get your creativity flowing, watch the videos linked in the text above so you can learn how to use each item I mentioned. I’ve also embedded part 1 of my BDSM 101 series below. Enjoy!