I happen to be in love with a lover of all things Cthulhu.  This past Christmas I scoured the ends of the earth and the deep depths of the sea for the best Cthulhu merchandise I could get my hands on.  Here are some of the treasures I found:

Cthulhu GEEKSOAP:   This geektacular soap I actually found last summer at GenCon.  I was walking the exhibition hall buying up D20 hair sticks and leather corsets when I stumbled upon the GEEKSOAP booth.  I fell in love!  I purchased a bar (err, circle?) intending to hide it until the holidays.  I think I lasted a day.  I was so excited about the soap I had to give it as a spontaneous, unwrapped gift right away!

OMG, this stuff smells FABULOUS!  I would have purchased more but I got the last one they had.

Also check out their sister company The Pink Toque.  They have handmade Cthulhu hats, mittens, scarves, bath mitts and more.

Miss Monster: Next on my list of favorites are these Cthulhu pillowcases from Miss Monster. I bought a pair to give as a Christmas present (no, I wasn’t able to keep that secret either. I know, I really suck at this.).  They are AWESOME!

Being a handmade internet purchase, I was worried they would fade, be of poor quality, etch a stain into my face as I slept, etc.  Nope!  Wash after wash they continue to look beautiful and are soft (but not nearly as smelly or loud) as a lamb to sleep on.  They are on my bed right now, in fact.  Yes, I sleep with a mysterious mythical creature in the murky deep.  Aren’t. You. Jealous?

Miss Monster has a bunch of other handmade Cthulhu products also– shirts, scarves, patches, hair barrettes, beer mugs, hoodies, etc.  You can also find her peddling her tentacled wares on Etsy.  It’s without a doubt some of the best stuff I’ve seen.  The Great Old Ones would approve.

Necronomicox: These items are by far the favorites on my list.  Need to summon the unspeakable?  From an orifice?  Bring in these big guns from Necronomicox!  Introducing the Ghatan ball-gag, Ghatan butt-plug and Mythos dildo!

I’m flirting with an orgasm simply thinking about these products.    I don’t own any yet but I’ve been told the Ghatan ball gag is in my future.  You’ll be the first to know how I like it!  Umm . . . after I figure out how to untie myself.  Heeeyyyyy, does anyone sell tentacle inspired bondage rope?  *wink*

If you’re a zombie aficionado and a certified sick fuck, check out their highly detailed, super creepy ZOMBI.  It seems so realistic, I bet it even smells like rotting flesh!  *taking a minute to figure out if that’s a good thing*

Etsy: For other handmade, one-of-a-kind-items, Etsy.com is a great resource.  Searching “Cthulhu” in the “handmade” category, I found over 900 results.  Search results tend to be hit or miss but I discovered most of the Cthulhu themed hats on Etsy are pretty rad.

Amazon: Even though they aren’t handmade one-of-a-kind items, these are still kind of cool:  Cthulhu slippers*, Bobble Head*and the Plush Toy.*

For those of you who aren’t hardcore Lovecraft fanatics but still made it through this post, first of all, I applaud you.  Secondly, catch up!  Here is The Call of Cthulhu in Under 2 Minutes.  Ready?  Go!

*affiliate links, mama needs to eat

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