I happen to be in love with a lover of all things Cthulhu. This past Christmas I scoured the ends of the earth and the deep depths of the sea for the best Cthulhu merchandise I could get my hands on. Here are some of the treasures I found:
Cthulhu GEEKSOAP: This geektacular soap I actually found last summer at GenCon. I was walking the exhibition hall buying up D20 hair sticks and leather corsets when I stumbled upon the GEEKSOAP booth. I fell in love! I purchased a bar (err, circle?) intending to hide it until the holidays. I think I lasted a day. I was so excited about the soap I had to give it as a spontaneous, unwrapped gift right away!
OMG, this stuff smells FABULOUS! I would have purchased more but I got the last one they had.
Also check out their sister company The Pink Toque. They have handmade Cthulhu hats, mittens, scarves, bath mitts and more.
Miss Monster: Next on my list of favorites are these Cthulhu pillowcases from Miss Monster. I bought a pair to give as a Christmas present (no, I wasn’t able to keep that secret either. I know, I really suck at this.). They are AWESOME!
Being a handmade internet purchase, I was worried they would fade, be of poor quality, etch a stain into my face as I slept, etc. Nope! Wash after wash they continue to look beautiful and are soft (but not nearly as smelly or loud) as a lamb to sleep on. They are on my bed right now, in fact. Yes, I sleep with a mysterious mythical creature in the murky deep. Aren’t. You. Jealous?
Miss Monster has a bunch of other handmade Cthulhu products also– shirts, scarves, patches, hair barrettes, beer mugs, hoodies, etc. You can also find her peddling her tentacled wares on Etsy. It’s without a doubt some of the best stuff I’ve seen. The Great Old Ones would approve.
Necronomicox: These items are by far the favorites on my list. Need to summon the unspeakable? From an orifice? Bring in these big guns from Necronomicox! Introducing the Ghatan ball-gag, Ghatan butt-plug and Mythos dildo!
I’m flirting with an orgasm simply thinking about these products. I don’t own any yet but I’ve been told the Ghatan ball gag is in my future. You’ll be the first to know how I like it! Umm . . . after I figure out how to untie myself. Heeeyyyyy, does anyone sell tentacle inspired bondage rope? *wink*
If you’re a zombie aficionado and a certified sick fuck, check out their highly detailed, super creepy ZOMBI. It seems so realistic, I bet it even smells like rotting flesh! *taking a minute to figure out if that’s a good thing*
Etsy: For other handmade, one-of-a-kind-items, Etsy.com is a great resource. Searching “Cthulhu” in the “handmade” category, I found over 900 results. Search results tend to be hit or miss but I discovered most of the Cthulhu themed hats on Etsy are pretty rad.
For those of you who aren’t hardcore Lovecraft fanatics but still made it through this post, first of all, I applaud you. Secondly, catch up! Here is The Call of Cthulhu in Under 2 Minutes. Ready? Go!
*affiliate links, mama needs to eat