Graydancer & Naiia Podcast Orig photo by Mistress Mayhem

Original photo used in American Sex podcast episode art by Mistress Mayhem

We sat down with BDSM & rope bondage superstars, Graydancer & Naiia, to talk about the BDSM “scene”. Some assume this group is ripe with open communication, ethical behavior, and clearly negotiated consent because those concepts are cornerstones of BDSM. It turns out kink communities have their fair share of toxicity and inequity too– just like most other social groups. Gray & Naiia share some innovative perspectives on these issues and discuss possible solutions. They’ve even implemented some themselves, namely popularizing an “open source” style conference model that is revolutionizing the way the rope and kink communities operate. Interestingly, this conversation doesn’t just apply to kink– most communities (yoga, theater, work groups, bowling leagues– you name it!) can benefit from this episode. Appropriately we recorded this live at the COPE BDSM conference which was the perfect backdrop!

Guest Bio

“Graydancer and Naiia have been presenting together for the last nine years throughout North America as well as being featured educators on . They are passionate about rope, leather, power exchange, service, consent practices, adult sex education, and performance, among other things. They work on the staff of ROPECRAFT, a national kink event, as well as producing the GRUE, an alt-sex open-space event in Madison. Naiia was the founder of the Madison Women of Leather, served as a moderator for the Rope Bottoms Group, and works with the LGBTQ Outreach Center in Madison. Gray produces the Ropecast (available on iTunes) and is currently training in Graphic Recording & Facilitation. His “kinky sketchnotes” are found at . They both live in Madison, WI where Naiia practices hearth witchery and Gray tries hard to be a GILF. Learn more at,,, and .”

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Episode 52 Links

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