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Life skills to get you laid: How to make an Aphrodisiac 7 Course Meal

Danny Kelson gastrofetish.com

A guest post by Ken Melvoin-Berg and Danny Kelson. Originally appeared on Gastrofetish.com

Ken Melvoin-Berg

Ken Melvoin-Berg

Ken: Life skills are important. They are even more important as an adult, especially when these life skills help you get laid. This article is part of a series of how-to instructions on how to get a desirable partner in the sack. The first thing I thought about when approaching another human in a romantic setting is food. So I called up my friend Danny Kelson from GastroFetish.com for three reasons: she knows how to cook gourmet food, she knows about getting laid, and she is awesome (she is Danny Kelson after all).

Aphrodisiacs are considered to be foods that increase one’s sexual libido. Some consider them a myth as there is no one food, other than alcohol (in veritas vino), that can truly create sexual arousal on a measurable level. So I had to research the foods that had allegedly been labeled as aphrodisiacs throughout time. Dipping into my history, biology and cooking background (I used to be a Sous Chef), I came up with a list of ingredients that had the qualities I was looking for. They had to be a vegetable, spice or protein that had consistently been labeled as an aphrodisiac in different countries and in different periods of time. I then looked at the biochemistry and medical qualities of the final list and then submitted them to Danny. She eliminated a few of the ingredients due to unavailability in the USA, but was able to find most of the stuff.

Each dish must have one of the ingredients we listed below as aphrodisiacs. First, find a recipe you like with the aphrodisiac ingredient, of course, feel free to use one we tried listed in this article. Next, get dishes and garnishes to present the dish. Cook the courses so that they may be served in order.

Once you understand what each of the courses are, what order they should be served in, and how to present them, you are ready to rock out with your cock out or jam out with your clam out!

Danny, thank you for one of the best meals of my life, your hard work really paid off. I had 2 huge orgasms thanks to your food!

At this point I am turning the article over to Danny:

Danny Kelson gastrofetish.com

Danny Kelson of Gastrofetish.com

Danny:  Creating and composing the aphrodisiac dinner is one of the most satisfying things I have done in a long time. Every item on the menu is a completely original dish that I put together with a little research on these ingredients. Some of them were completely unfamiliar, such as maca root and fenugreek… what the hell is a fenugreek? Well, ultimately it is not a very tasty vegetable but we made it work. The ingredients are as follows:

Arugula
Avocado
Maca Root & Watermelon (together)
Fenugreek
Ginseng
Kabocha Squash
Oysters
Saffron
Cannabis**
Cayenne Pepper
Chocolate
Mango
Mushrooms

Looking at this list of ingredients, I was not quite sure how I was going to put them all together in a way that would flow properly, but once I got started and put pen to paper it came naturally. I really wanted to focus on perfect portion sizes and avoid using anything too heavy. Obviously, no one feels sexy and aroused when they are completely bloated and full. I also kept in mind sexy textures and unsexy flavors. I used very little garlic in only one dish and no onions throughout the entire menu – THIS is a big deal for me. I love both of those ingredients. However, nothing is less attractive than having or smelling garlic breath.

The fenugreek I got from an Indian market up at Lawrence and Pulaski in Chicago (well, I sent my husband to get it.) The maca root I ordered in a powder on Amazon.com. Apparently you can only really find it fresh in Peru, where they use the root as frequently as we use potatoes. Those Peruvians must be having incredible sex, because this stuff really worked. The oysters I got the day-of to make sure they were ultimately fresh and delicious from a lovely little place called Dirk’s Fish & Gourmet Shop (2070 N Clybourn Ave, Chicago.) They shucked them there for me which was great because I knew I would end up injuring myself if I tried.

The remainder of the ingredients I found at Whole Foods, which was wonderful because as much as I was enjoying all of the mystery with this project, I did not want to drag my ass all over the city looking for these things.

**Cannabis is listed as one of the ingredients that have aphrodisiac qualities. There was NO actual cannabis used within this menu and the concept is purely theoretical. Any use or possession of cannabis is illegal in many states, including Illinois. However, if it is legal in your state or country, I encourage you to give this dish a try as written and please send us your feedback!**

This took me a total of 3 days of shopping, prepping, and cooking. It was all worth it. I enjoyed every minute of it. This is the most intricate dinner I have ever done on my own. It was incredible watching my notes and the ideal images in my head come to fruition. I am very proud of the result and I feel that I could find very little to criticize. This concept and these ingredients were made to be put in my hands. I’m very satisfied.

Danny’s Seven courses of the aphrodisiac meal:

aphrodisiac-menu

1. Amuse Bouche – Cinnamon Carrot and Saffron Soup: (Amuse Bouche translation: mouth amuser. A bite to excite the palate) The carrot soup had enough spice and zing to do the job. We got mouth-horny.
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2. Salad – Avocado Bowl, Mango, Tomato, Basil, Arugula, Balsamic-Truffle Vinaigrette: Great sensual textures with the avocado and sweet mango. The truffle cradled the balsamic vinegar as it cut through the fat of the avocado. Wonderful.
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3. Appetizer – Crispy Crimini Mushroom, Sage and Cannabis Brown Butter Sauce: Risky with fried food and butter, but it was so warming and delicious.
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4. Fish – Oysters, Crispy Apple Ginger Relish: I’m new to oysters, and I’m damn proud. The apples were a perfect texture to assist in the difficult consistency of the oyster.
bIMG_3077
5. Meat – Lamb Chop, Kabocha Squash, Cayenne, Fenugreek: Lamb was rich and rare and the squash was a wonderful heat level that made you sweat in all of the right ways.
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6. Palate Cleanser – Watermelon, Maca Root, Ginseng, Tequila: Strange taste, but we all came back for more.
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7. Dessert – Chocolate Ganache Torte, Raspberry: Rich chocolate ganache. Ganache is just inherently sexy. I did NOT make this… I cheated and bought it at a bakery.
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Alright, enough stroking myself for now… I’ll save that for after my next maca root milkshake!

Ultimately, the food was delicious, the company was delicious, and so was my husband immediately after! I would say that the aphrodisiac concept was completely validated with this dinner. Nothing is more gratifying than food that not only tastes good, but really turns you on!

So let’s dive in right in here with comments from the guests:

Comments from Tessa:

Succulence and Sex; what a delicious combination that was able to work its way into my life in the form of a seven course meal. The meal was intertwined with a mini-challenge to see if these foods did indeed act as aphrodisiacs in order to TURN US ON. I knew the typical line-up of foods expected in this sort of menu, but I didn’t get them in a way that I expected, which is always much better. The name of the game was pretty simple; consuming all of these foods with minimal alcohol in order to experience the full effect brought on by the meal itself. Each course brought something different, evoked an emotion, or made you feel a certain way. Let’s delve into the menu;

First up was Carrot + Cinnamon + Saffron soup. Um, I’m sorry, but I may have came earlier than anticipated when this soup first hit my taste buds. It was delicious, I wanted to pour it on my body, or swim in it..or perhaps lay it on a tarp and have sex on in? Either way, it was the perfect starter course into the meal. It was warm, inviting, and had just the right touch of spices to balance out the sort of sweet dullness the carrot has to it. I loved it and find myself longing to consume it even weeks after. I really could eat it daily throughout all of autumn and winter, but I might get myself into some sort of sexual trouble at that rate…

The second course that was put in front of us was a salad served in an Avocado bowl and in it was arugula, heirloom tomatoes, mango, basil, & tossed in a balsamic truffle vinaigrette. DIVINE! Where the first course made you feel warm, this course made you feel almost refreshed. Sometimes, salads have the ability to knock me on my ass. Done and done. This had all the trappings of an ass-kickin’ salad. I also am a big fan of eating your serving dish. This was a great boost of fat, protein, sweet, and tangy and those are all the things you want in the pre-game to sex.

Ah, that third plate, the one that allocated seconds; Crispy crimini mushrooms, sage, & cannabis brown butter sauce. This was almost served like finger food, like miniature little poppers, however, they packed a big punch. Luckily, there was a little more to go around after we had scarfed down the first plate full of ‘em. When I envision this dish, I can literally work the flavors up and my mouth begins to water. It was that earth based element, with the sweetness and sharpness of the herbs and mushrooms.

The fourth plate was something that had me a little hesitant; oysters. Now, I don’t know why I was so opposed to these suckers up until this meal, but I suppose it had something to do with seeing reality show participants spewing them up after a long night of drunken debauchery. Well, this was nothing like that. They were presented with finely chopped apples that acted as a apple ginger relish. It was exactly what the oyster needed to send it down with even greater ease. This is HUGE if you’re a texture person and maybe disdain the manner in which an oyster works its way down your throat. The apples really made the whole thing that much moreaccessible. The flavor of both of them stood out on their own, but you were also able to get an array of taste and flavor on your palate, just due to the texture and flavor difference in the both of them. I found myself wanting more and that was kind of how it was with each course. This obviously was an exciting plate to consume because when you think of oysters, the aphrodisiac bell definitely goes off. I’m just glad I got myself to try them because I was definitely skeptical to them and I’m usually so open to foods, so I’m stoked I didn’t miss out on a chance to have them- finally!

Number five was also a real winner. Here we had a Lamb Chop with Kabocha squash, cayenne, and fenugreek. This was another course that found myself wishing I could be shrunken down with my partner to have the ability to fuck IN the squash, but consuming it was a real win as well. The lamb chop was top notch and was laid upon the squash which was served mashed. This was marvelous, the flavor that was able to burst through was incredible, along with that boost of cayenne and fenugreek. It was a really nice, warm, pairing. This is where my body started to feel that warm all throughout. There was definitely a point in the meal where we all felt extremely fuck-able, and this may have been that moment. The fenugreek was almost harsh in this course, but in a GOOD way. It was such an earthy experience (which seemed to be a common element within this menu, luckily); with the lamb chop and squashit just felt like you were eating autumn. It was glorious.

Six was tricky, but we made it work. Here we had watermelon, maca root, ginseng and tequila all blended up and poured into shot form. This was supposed to give us that extra charge-up, I suppose. It was definitely interesting on the tongue at first, it was almost like a biting taste. Oddly enough, we all found ourselves wanting more of it. I’m not sure if it was that subtle sweet of the watermelon blended with this assload of healthy infusion from the root and ginseng, but we definitely ended up slurping down much more than any of us initially anticipated. I think that’s a big draw, when you have healthy ingredients infused into something a little easier to consume, like tequila and watermelon. It’s all relative and all apparently pretty alright when you mix it all together in a blender.

Dessert time of course called for some sort of chocolate-y experience and was what was served for our final course. It came to us in the form of a Chocolate ganache torte with raspberry. The perfect way to end the meal, with some dark chocolate + sweet fruit. At this point, my stomach was perfectly filled with some of the best known aphrodisiacs and I couldn’t wait to see how the aftermath could turn out to be. I already knew that I would already be having sex by the time my night concluded, whether or not I had consumed any of this or not and I knew that it would be GOOD sex. However, there was that warm feeling I mentioned earlier. That lingered with me throughout the night, and even though we ended up chit-chatting after dinner had ended, I still found myself overly eager to get down and this lasted through the morning, when I woke up ready for some stimulation. It was a magnificent experience overall; the dinner, the company, the conversation, and the sex. All stellar. I can’t say I was chocked full of this overwhelming desire to fuck, but the desire was there at the end of it all. I’m glad I was able to get in on the experience to see how these foods took effect on my body. The result was more than desirable.

Comments from David:

The short and sweet story is: The food was amazing! The oysters were light, succulent, and refreshing. The soup was like velvet in my mouth! As far as the aphrodisiacal properties, I must say that I have always been skeptically optimistic and have never found foods to have such that type of effect. I cannot point to any one dish that got the proverbial juices flowing. The truly amazing (not a phrase I use liberally) thing about the effect the dinner had on me was that it proved to be a sexual “jump-start” for me. My libido had been down for a couple of months and literally later that evening right up through today, my sexual appetite has returned to its historical voracious ways.

Comments from Ken:

To put it bluntly, this meal was not only one of the best meals I’ve had in my life, it made me harder than Chinese Algebra. Every dish was amazing in quality, freshness and especially in presentation.

Comments from Sunny:

Sunny Megatron

I am a big-time skeptic when it comes to this sort of thing. I have personally never experienced any sort of aphrodisiac effects from food before and was doubtful it could even happen. By the time we got to the third course I couldn’t contain myself (mind you, it was sans cannabis so it was not the pot talking). I blurted out, “Okay, it is just me or are you guys getting horny?” Then we all looked at each other, “yeah, I’m kind of horny . . . you too!?”

The feeling seemed to build with each course. Naturally, we wondered if it was simply power of suggestion. I’m a dedicated skeptic so I had to fully explore that as a logical explanation— perhaps we were just talking ourselves into being randy? We quickly decided there was something more at play. The lamb dish at course 5 cemented our initial conclusion. We really were a table full of hopped up horn-dogs.

It was so strange— almost as if I was on some kind of euphoric, sexual high. My naive after school special-esque ass has never touched ecstasy but the sensation I was feeling was similar to what I have heard it was like. I felt happy and sultry and just wanted to rub all over everyone. I spent the rest of the meal trying to quell the internal bickering going on inside my head– “hmmmm, I wonder if our hosts would be down for an orgy? NO! I can’t believe I’m thinking that! Well, maybe . . . it would be hot. NO! Stop it, horny brain! Mmmm, look at her cleavage. STOP!”

Not only did that feeling stick with me the next day but the fenugreek lingered for quite some time too. Both my and Ken’s skin, hair and clothing carried the strong scent of fenugreek for nearly a week. It wasn’t bad. It was kind of a cool reminder of how horny I had been the night of our meal. Then once I started thinking of that, I’d get horny all over again!

Overall, this meal exceeded my wildest expectations. Never in a million years would I have thought consuming certain foods would alter my sexual threshold that dramatically. I was wrong. I hope we have another dinner party again very soon!

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