BDSM for Beginners
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BDSM for Beginners Video Series

This four part BDSM 101 video series is designed to get you up to speed on kink/BDSM so you can start constructing your first scene. We cover: BDSM defined (good chance it's not exactly what you've been lead to believe by the media!) How…
how to use a ball gag for bdsm
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I’m Having a Ball with my Scandal Ball Gag!

Why Reach for a Ball Gag? People like using ball gags for different reasons. For those who enjoy being submissive in the bedroom, feeling helpless can be a huge turn on. When we give up control and place it in the hands of our partner, the…
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The Fundamentals of BDSM

From the outside looking in, a typical BDSM scene may appear to be a one-sided affair in which the dominant gets to do whatever they want to the submissive. To the unknowing eye, things like spanking, objectification, or erotic humiliation seem abusive. If these actions are done properly within the framework of BDSM, however, they are anything but.
Are-you-secretly-into-BDSM-by-Sunny-Megatron
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My New BDSM Articles on Sexpert.com

I’m very excited to announce I’m writing regularly for sexpert.com now! Every two weeks or so expect a new article about kink. This isn’t just any BDSM series either. Each article is designed to build upon the last and will give you a solid BDSM 101 foundation and useable guide.
Creative Commons Eduardo Santos
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The Surprising Health Benefits of BDSM

It’s only been a couple of years since the medical industry decided participation in fetishism and sadomasochism was no longer considered a mental disorder. It’s no surprise there aren’t many long term and older studies about BDSM. Thankfully, in recent years, researchers have started seriously studying the effects of BDSM and their findings are surprising (well, surprising to the researchers-- many BDSM practitioners have always known it was doing something good!)
Source: Eevlva/Dreamstime.com
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Genital Clamps: The Penis & Testicles Edition

Clamping doesn't have to be painful. It’s not uncommon for men to enjoy tugging their scrotum while stroking their penis. Many find this pressure very arousing and that it helps bring on orgasm. Weight added from placing light clamps on the scrotum can give this same effect while leaving both hands free.
Source: Damianpalus/Dreamstime.com
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Advanced Neon & Violet Wand Play

This article will give you lots of clever ideas and introduce you to new tools that will take your wand play to the next level. I discuss techniques for direct, indirect, and reverse play including: violet wand rope, Edison adapters, knife play alternatives, conductive metals, and a lot more!
A gaping glazed donut
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Anal Gaping for the Masses

In the extremely under researched world of bizarre anal acts, gaping is one of the least understood. Learn about it first hand from XXX star Casey Calvert plus get 8 essential steps to achieving anal gape.
Jezebel Interview Sunny Ken
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Sunny & Ken Featured in Jezebel & Crowned "BDSMs Friendliest Couple"

Jezebel reporter, Mark Shrayber, says we're "BDSMs Friendliest Couple." Yes, we may beat the crap out of you but we'll give you a cupcake afterward ;)
First time pegging
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4 Must-Haves for Phenomenal First Time Pegging

Is pegging something you’d like to try? You and your partner may find it’s an act that not only brings you closer together but unlocks orgasm potential you never knew possible.
sunny megatron intro to BDSM
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BDSM for Beginners in 5 Simple Steps

How can you be sure you don’t hurt each other or overstep boundaries? What’s the best way bring each other’s fantasies to life? What do you try first? The unknowns can be overwhelming. If you take it step by step, however, you can easily figure out if BDSM is right for you and determine what flavor you prefer.
fifty shades of grey sucks
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An Open Letter to Sex Educators & BDSM Community Re: 50 Shades of Grey

Love it or hate it, THIS article about rescued marriages is what Fifty Shades of Grey is doing for a lot of people-- and that's a wonderful thing. I get letters from folks all the time about saved marriages and renewed relationships. As educators and BDSM community members, poo-pooing the book (as many in this article quoting 50 sex educators/fetishists on 50 shades do) does nothing but shame people's very real, valid, life changing experiences. And what we want most is for them to enter the world of BDSM in a safe, sane, and consensual manner (or in a RACK-y way if that's more their thing ;) ) and learn to differentiate between fantasy inspiration and healthy real-life kink.
toys used in 50 shades of grey
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Fifty Shades Valentine's Day Toy Guide

It’s no coincidence the Fifty Shades of Grey movie opens Valentine's day weekend. The movie folks know it’s the perfect sexy date night film. So what happens when the movie is over and you’re inspired to copy a few moves from Christian and Anna’s playbook?
Photo credit: Alex Proimoson, flickr
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Disclosing Your Kinks to Your Doctor

What if there are repercussions as a result of that doctor finding out exactly how you got those bruises all over your ass? What if they judge or shame you? What if their biases affect the quality of care they give you?
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50 Shades Movie Recommendation: Secretary  

If you're a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey but haven't seen Secretary, SEE SECRETARY! It's a much more realistic representation of BDSM, it's suuuuper hot, and the chemistry between the James Spader and Maggie Gyllenaal is amazing!
Source: Konradbak/Dreamstime.com
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Electrify Your Orgasms: TENS Units for Beginners

Curious about using electricity to get off? Afraid to try because you don’t want to fry your naughty bits? Have no fear! While electrosex devices are sometimes used for BDSM pain play, they can also be an exciting, painless, and surprisingly safe way to bring yourself to mindblowing orgasm. And no, it won't hurt. Often portrayed as complicated, tortuous devices, electrosex toys are actually quite simple to operate and offer an infinite palette of sensations. Their adjustability makes them versatile enough to use for pain play or gentle, erotic titillation.
Sunny Megatron Succubus
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Four Sexy Taboos to Explore this Halloween

Sexual taboos are different for everyone. We all have things we absolutely won’t do, however, most of us also have a few naughty, unmentionable, and totally hot taboos that really turn us on. These are the things we’ve been itching to try but because they are a little *ehemm* different, may seem too awkward to bring up to a partner. Halloween can be the perfect time to dive into some of these unchartered waters. Here are 4 sexy taboos that you can explore this October:
Source: Chaoss/Dreamstime.com
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An Intro to Labia Clamps

If you have ever had your labia massaged or tugged on during foreplay, you may have noticed how good it feels. This is because putting pressure on the labia can stimulate the internal clitoris. That little button above the top of the vaginal opening that most of us know as the clitoris is really just the tip of a much larger iceberg.
Source: Jason Winter/Dreamstime.com
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Shock Your Sex Life: Electrosex for Couples

Think electric sex play is only for people who enjoy pain? Nothing could be further from the truth. Plenty of folks who consider themselves “vanilla” use electroerotic toys to painlessly titillate their partners or achieve hands-free orgasms. Wanna give it a try? Here’s what you need to know . . .
BDSM Web Series
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Kinky Korner Web Series

Did you know that as a CalExotics Expert Sexpert I make kinky educational and product videos? My web Series is called Kinky Korner. So far I have nearly 30 videos in this series in which I teach you kink basics and give you a peek at some of my favorite sexytime products.
Shibari My Wand review
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Review: The Shibari Wand Helped me Find the Secret to the Universe . . . in my Pants

The vibrations of the Rechargeable Shibari Wand really make this sex toy work for me. I’m not sure of the exact specs or the science behind the mechanisms, but the Shibari Wand feels as if it’s vibrating at a different frequency than the Hitachi.
Ken Melvoin-Berg in the Air Force
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“Down on your knees! Now, how may I serve you, bitch?” or Inverse Power Exchange for Beginners

There is no one true way to fulfill a role. Don’t let anyone police what or who you are. Like a $20 dollar bill that is folded in half, then wrinkled up and stuffed in a pocket, you still have the same value as you always did, yet you change shape over time. Even though it’s fun to figure out what you are called or identify with, ditch the labels and the meaning behind them and carve out YOUR way to be a top (or a sub).
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Top 10 CalExotics Fetish Toys of 2013

Recently I was a guest on the SiriusXM radio show, On Air with Club CalExotics hosted by Sheena Metal. Three words: SO MUCH FUN! Sheena and I talked about exploring kink and took questions from callers. We finished up the episode with my list of Top 10 Fetish Toys of 2013. These are must-have, classic items everyone should have in their naughty toolbox.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Sex & Mormonism: Homosexuality, BDSM, Magic Underpants & More

Whenever I hear about someone that is personally conservative or belongs to an orthodox sex negative religion, I want to know if they get freaky behind closed doors. Do Mormons have sex on their periods? Do they give oral or anal sex? Do they practice BDSM and spank each other when nobody is looking? Do they do it with the lights on while choking their beloved and screwing up against a wall?
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Piss: A Short Film

Wow, this is a great short film! It also has so many layers. On the surface it’s got a very indie/dark comedy feel. It also brings to light what many people exploring BDSM wrestle with: How to reconcile kink with your feminist beliefs. It also touches on the importance of safewords and the sometimes murky waters of consent.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Inflating the Anal Hype – Truth or Bust?

Inflatable anal toys are one of those mysterious adult products associated with fetishism and considered too “hardcore” for many people. In my experience more people will reach for a large butt plug over and expandable one. Are back-door inflatables really worth the hype or is this a novelty you should leave on the shelf? I personally think they are a wonderful invention worth consideration. This is why:
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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50 Shades Of Grey Library Book Club a Success!

Last night I hosted a 50 Shades of Grey Book Club at the Elmwood Park Public Library.  I’ve hosted other 50 Shades book clubs but this was my first at a public library. What a wonderful turn-out!  This was the largest book club audience…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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10 Sex Toys You've Probably Never Heard of But Should Own

As a sex educator, S&M dungeon owner (The Studio) and pleasure advocate involved in the BDSM lifestyle, I’ve had the pleasure of trying all sorts of interesting sex toys many folks don’t ever see. I’m also fortunate to be one of the people that tests, reviews and writes about new products as they come out.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Why I Don’t Try To Prevent HIV (and don’t think you should either)

This was written by Wintersong and previously appeared on BarkingShaman.com.  It specifically applies to safety issues around play that involves blood product, such as play-piercing and cutting play. Although this writing specifically applies…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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The Vanilla vs. Kink Crossover

When it comes to vanillas and kinksters there’s a real “us” and “them” attitude. It’s like the Sharks and the Jets (Yes, I’m showing my age . . . and my love for musicals. Quiet, or I’ll dance fight your ass.). If you’re one you can’t be the other. You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the other side, right? Look how badly that turned out for Tony and Maria. It’s also assumed if you’re on one side you think the other is less than worthy. Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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The Low-Down on Ben Wa Balls + Eclipse Kegel Exerciser Review

Ben Wa balls, also known as Kegel exercisers, are all the rage.  We’ve known for over 1,500 years using them leads to improved vaginal health, better sex and stronger orgasms.  You’d think that would be enough to sell anyone.  But it…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Rules, Roleplays & Rituals: How to Bring Kink into Your Bedroom

Whenever I talk to people who have little to no experience in bondage, domination, sadism, submission, masochism, or the like, I ask them to imagine for me a couple. They are named Chris and Alex. First of all,
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dominant

Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of “Daddy” within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks: 30 Days of Polyamory

Over the next month or so I’ll be focusing on subjects relating to non-monogamy.  I’ll answer many questions for you— from defining lexicon (what’s Poly vs. Open Relationship vs. Mono/Poly, etc) to walking you through the how-to’s…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Trading Power for Pleasure? Popular Blogs Giving Horrible Advice to Kink Curious Women

Everyone’s jumping on the BSDM/50 Shades bandwagon. Every other internet news source claims to have the secret to creating the perfect 50 Shades experience but few provide accuracy or substance.  CaféMom/The Stir’s “Women Who Want…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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I Don’t Like You Much, Christian Grey

A few days ago, one of the local radio news stations interviewed us for their “50 shades of Grey” series. I was interested in talking about the book. One way or the other it’s an important book right now. It’s on paper, it’s got a cardboard cover, it’s written with an incessant and continual internal dialogue that makes you want to stick needles in your face, it’s on the bestseller list.
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You want more S&M classes? Get ready for BDSM 201: Dungeons for Beginners!

Our BDSM 101: 50 Shades of Taboo class last night at Taboo Tabou was AWESOME!  Thanks to everyone who came out! The turnout was wonderful and I’m already receiving all sorts of private notes from attendees thanking Ken and I for teaching…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Stop Hating on 50 Shades of Grey!

  My fellow literary snobs, sex educators, kinksters & sex positive community members may be shocked to hear me say this: STOP HATING ON 50 SHADES OF GREY! Yep, you read that correctly.  I’m defending 50 Shades of Grey. Whether…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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10 Things to Read After 50 Shades of Grey

Maybe you really enjoyed 50 Shades and you want to know what you could read next. Here are some options. All of these are written to subjectify the female player- to give her life and let her fantasy really guide the book. Even if she is the submissive- the object of affection and intrigue, use and abuse, she is the window through which the story is told.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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BDSM Without Sex?

When we hear words like fetish, kink, BDSM or S&M we immediately think sex. BDSM is an acronym many in the mainstream consider synonymous with S&M. Technically it stands for bondage & discipline (BD), dominance & submission (DS) and sadism & masochism (SM). In other words-- whatever it is you like that’s kinky, whether on the giving or receiving end, is included in the all encompassing label of BDSM.
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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50 Shades of Grey Gift Set Giveaway!

I’m giving away a 50 Shades of Grey gift package! Are you dying to read the book that has everyone talking?  It seems everyone has an opinion about it— now you can judge for yourself! This gift package is valued at over $65 and…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Detroit’s Local 4 News Filming of BDSM Club Irresponsible Journalism

I just learned Detroit's Local 4 News planted someone at a local BDSM Dungeon party and will broadcast images of the guests captured on a hidden camera on tonight's 11pm news.  The angle of the story is something to the effect of "OMG! Are…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Ellen's 50 Shades of Grey + Bonus S&M Barbara Walters

  As if we need another reason to love Ellen.  Ellen Reads from 50 Shades of Grey: http://youtu.be/on3JCwnwHbU     Is it wrong that I can't get the image of Ellen topping Barbara Walters out of my head? And that…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Diary of a Sex Clown: Life Lessons from a Clown Fetishist

Upon meeting a prospective partner in a coffee shop or at the corner bar, they often become “Coffee Shop Hottie” or “Corner Bar Dude” in casual conversation amongst friends. When I first met the love of my life, my best friend and I secretly referred to him as “The Sex Clown.”
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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We're Teaching an Electrosex Class in LA!

I’m making my way to L.A.once again to help out partner, Ken Melvoin-Berg, teach ZAP! Electric Toy Play on Saturday, February 18th, 2012 at Stockroom University! Ken and I are both electricity nuts! From violet wands, to neon wands,…
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag
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Off to Play in Sunny LA!

  Exciting news!  Ken Melvoin-Berg and I have a jam packed weekend head of us.  We’re going to sunny L.A.!  What are we going to be doing there, you ask?  Lots of sexy stuff! On Saturday April 9th , Ken and I are teaching a…